What happens when you ask an eight-year-old…

How would you describe an epic fantasy battle?

They might answer:

So there was a guy, named Joe. Joe loved to eat fish. So one day, Joe decided to take a walk. And, well, Joe saw a man.. who looked about 85. The man said, “HOW DARE YOU LIKE FISH!” [Eight year old stops, says 'I just really don't wanna do this right now. Let's finish it later]

I apologize for the lateness and mediocreness of this article… unwilling eight-year-olds are hard to argue with.

These answers came from genuine eight-year olds and do not reflect my views or opinion.. or do they?

[?] denotes an answer that is incredibly strange or just plain unexpected

Please, please, submit your questions to me by using the Contact link above!

Coming next week: When You Ask An Eight Year Old… What’s the best movie and why?

What happens when you ask an eight year old…

What are the best bands ever?

They might answer:

• Avenged Seven-Fold, because they have the bestest songs ever
• The Beatles, because they don’t look like pigs
• Kiss, because they dress like weirdos
• Randy Newman, because he is obsessed with happiness
• Guns N’ Roses, because they have ‘gun’ in their name

Here are some outtakes (beware, rude content):

• Fallout Boy, because they suck
• Coldplay, because they’re neutered [?]
• Hannah Montana, because she sounds like a pig being man-handled

These answers came from genuine eight-year olds and do not reflect my views or opinion.. or do they?

[?] denotes an answer that is incredibly strange or plain unexpected

Please, please, submit your questions to me by using the Contact link above!

Coming next week: When You Ask An Eight Year Old… What’s your favorite superpower?

What happens when you ask an eight year old…

Why do you like Obama?

They might answer:

• ‘Cuz he’s awesome
• Because he’ll be the first African-American president
• He has booty-kicking powers
• He doesn’t have moobs [?]
• He’ll transform nation into “awesome land”
• Has mind-control helmets that help everybody in the world [?]
• Has better super-powers than Superman

Here are some outtakes (beware, rude content):

• McCain has a gassy butt
• McCain’s bald
• I don’t like farts

These answers came from genuine eight-year olds and do not reflect my views or opinion.. or do they?

[?] denotes an answer that is incredibly strange or plain unexpected

Please, please, submit your questions to me by using the Contact link above!

Coming next week: When You Ask An Eight Year Old… What’s the best band name?