I’m Just A Boy With A New Haircut

This week I got a *special* Bar Mitzvah haircut! I guess it was more of a trim, because usually you’re able to build a whole village of bird nests out of the hair on the floor, but this time it was only like a small township? Either way, Sheba (also known as Sheebs, Sheebster, Sheebdawg) did a great job.

As you can see, Sammy was not too happy in this picture. Probably because he can’t stand doing anything that doesn’t involve A. video games, B. his friends, or C. I can’t think of anything else.. The point is, any time Sammy is away from these things, he goes into super-gelatinous-whiny-complain mode and drives everyone crazy! Uh, just kidding, Sam. We wuv you!

Every year, our school holds a fundraiser auction where one of the items is ”Principal For A Day.” The kid whose parents bid and wins this gets to announce a “proclamation” that usually declares some Video Game Day or something at school. This year, the kid established Crazy Hat Day. So, for Crazy Hat Day, I wore this fabric mohawk hat thingy that doesn’t really fit me. I wore it for five minutes and then took it off because it was giving me a headache. My brother, on the other hand, had a much more, uh, “extravagant” hat selection.

Sammy wore a bright red wig, topped with one of those really long conical (is that a word? wait.. yep, it is) winter hats. I gave it a 7 out of 5 stars (two extra points for what happens next).

Today we had Hebrew school. I actually enjoy it (mainly because I see my Jew-friends, and we speak Hebrew and stuff). The only bummer is getting home at seven bugajillion o’clock and still having a full night of homework left. This is quite a problem during April (which is by-the-way the worst month of the year for thirteen year old Jewish seventh graders whose Bar Mitzvah is at the beginning of May and is about to take the Constitution test and do a big school performance and lots of stuff) because we have way too much homework this month. I know, this probably sounds ridiculous to you high schoolers/college students/grad students, but hey. In 1st grade I was complaining about homework, and now I look back at it and realize how ridiculously little our homework was back then. Every time my brother whines about homework now I just shun him. But not really.

Anyway, when we got to Hebrew school Sammy was still wearing his crazy wig/hat combo thing. Our Rabbi, who is high-larious and really should be a part-time comedian, saw it and (seriously, this is not a joke) asked Sammy if he could borrow it. Then, this 62 year old, Rabbinical man put on a bright red novelty wig and walked all around temple. Yeah, you wish your Rabbi was that cool.

After the party was over and the wig was off, we sat down to have a meeting about my Bar Mitzvah speech! It’s about time; my Bar Mitzvah’s about a week away! In our meeting we laid down a rough draft for my “little spiel,” as I like to call it. I’m feeling good about this whole Bar Mitzvah thing so far. As I am told e-v-e-r-y single day, “it’s crunch time.” I am prepared, I just need to finish a couple prayers and things like that.. OKAY WE HAVE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT NOW BECAUSE I MIGHT START HYPERVENTILATING AND THAT WOULD NOT BE GOOD. OKAY?

Speaking of hyperventilation, today my friend Annie said some joke about bad hair or something and for some reason I started hyperventilating (we’re random like that) and I fell on the ground and when I got up I was all dizzy and there was sticky stuff on my hands. And then I said to Annie “Whoa, that was a weeeird experience. And now there’s sticky stuff on my hands…” and then she screamed “OKAY NEVER SAY THAT SENTENCE EVER AGAIN.” (by the way, Annie suppose to be the non-dirty-minded one). I think (and hope) that the sticky substance was just fruit roll-up residue from our dirty school floors. No wait, it definitely was. In fact, I dropped a fruit roll-up on the floor right before this happened…. Yes, this is a daily occurrence at our school.

EARTH DAY IS TOMORROW! Yay for Earth! To celebrate this so-called Earth Day, our entire school is going on the playground to sing a song called This Little Planet. I think it’s one of those cheezy 80’s peace/love songs that are in school plays and such. ‘Twill be an interesting day.

Okay people, I should get to bed. Remember to celebrate Earth Day tomorrow!

Oh, and here’s a playlist (Cut Your Hair is for obvious reasons, The Weight & Just A Kid because of school / Bar Mitzvah Stress, and This Pretty Planet for Earth Day).

(Uh, the playlist above was SUPPOSED to be blue and green for Earth day, but for whatever reason it turned out orange and blue. Anyway, enjoy!)