Onion Candidate Profile – John McCain
I found this on TheOnion.com in the War For The White House section. They have more for the other candidates and running-mates. Enjoy!
Thoughts On Torture:
Doesn’t support stuff he couldn’t handle
Doesn’t support stuff he couldn’t handle
Saturday Night Live Appearance:
Solid
Where He’d Be If Not Running For President:
Dead
Awards:
Distinguished Flying Cross (Vietnam War); Silver Star (World War II); Bronze Star (Crimean War)
Key Senate Achievement:
Paying Russ Feingold $34 dollars to list his name first in ‘McCain-Feingold’ bill
People Who Have Influenced Him Most:
His wife, Cindy, for her constant encouragement and unconditional wealth
